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Australia conforms strongly to the gender norm that women should earn less than their male partners. We investigate the impact of violating this cultural norm on the incidence of domestic violence and emotional abuse against women and men in Australia. Violating the male breadwinning norm results in a 35 per cent increase in the likelihood of partner violence against women and a 20 per cent increase in emotional abuse. We find no effect on abuse against men. The strong effect of violating the gender norm on abuse against women is present across all age ranges, income groups and educational backgrounds.